by Makayla Secrist Staff Writer
Being a single parent is a tough, often thankless, job. Throw clinical depression, college and then COVID-19 into the mix and your job gets 1000% more difficult. I love my children more than anything and know without a doubt how empty life would be without them, but DAMN motherhood is hard!
When the initial lockdown started in March of 2020, I was still in school. The kiddos got released from classes early and were now on a long and boring summer break. I’d allow them outside, but being home 24/7 and unable to leave our own property save for groceries had us all wound up. Fights were commonplace among all of us. Screaming, whining, crying, throwing tantrums, and the kids weren’t fairing much better with their tempers.
As Mama Llama, a nickname Kaeden and Anna sometimes call me, I had to navigate fights, figure out lunch and dinner (kids got their own cereal), not let the house get too destroyed, and keep up an appearance for my Iowa Lakes classes on top of previous commitments like my YouTube channel and Dungeons and Dragons. I know. Those last two aren’t super important, but I needed SOME fun during this time.
Depression hit hard as I’m sure it did for many people during this time. Aaron and Alyssa, the kid’s dad and step mother, had just moved from Colorado to be closer to Kaeden and Anna and we couldn’t even go see them. We’re also sandwiched between my own parents and oldest niece with her boyfriend on the other side and couldn’t see them either.
The house got pretty smelly on multiple occasions as I couldn’t find the motivation to keep up with it at all. Dishes filled both sinks, garbage overflowed, and gnats were EVERYWHERE. I hated it and seeing the mess only drove me deeper into my depression which inevitably made the mess even worse and the cycle continued.
Looking back, I was so full of shame, but my sweet children are what got me up out of bed at all during that time. I needed to be better because they needed me. That time is still quite a bit of a blur of emotion and “how the hell did I get out of this,” but the fond memories of it all shine out.
The kids and I played UNO, put together a kiwi box project, and tried to learn something together. It was still madness, but there was a lot of fun in it all too. Lots of laughter and snuggles and falling asleep on each other. I’m still not a good housekeeper, but it doesn’t stink anymore. I’ll take it over becoming the Lady of the Flies.
Since the lockdown the kids and I are thriving. My daughter just turned six this week and I’m only one semester left in my degree. We still fight like cats and dogs at times, but at the end of the day there is always hope for a better tomorrow. I struggle to keep up on homework still at times, but no longer to get out of bed.
While it’s looking like we’re probably headed for another round of lockdowns this winter, I feel the kids and I are more prepared for it should it happen. Stay safe everyone.
Call of the Lake 
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